What is it that i Feel?

This is what I feel lately:
I only feel very spacious and deeply open on the moment. And everything seems to move through me. Nothing to hold, just being me, whatever that might be.
First that was a bit sad and weird, cause for a moment it seems like I was losing myself totally into nothing. a very lost feeling, Like losing everything.
Now the realization is more of I lost all that was already nothing at first hand.

And for some moments I had the notion of being angry at all that felt not right all the things within the whole of Me( including others). But now I see, even that was nothing at all. The anger was just that a little bit of attachment to some idea’s that did not even make sense.

Now all is open, clear blue spacious ocean of Being.
Feelings, thoughts, things rise in and out of me. in and out, in and out.
I see the things, thoughts and feelings for a flash and then they’re gone.. in and out… in and out…. some stay a bit longer, but they will be gone as well and something new will surface.It’s not easy to give words too. you have to feel and listen carefully in this open spacious ocean.

So… Listening is what is now on my radar. Understanding what it is [ different from just hearing] and to what it is we truly listen to. Many times we seem to listen to what is under the words, the song under it all. Some of those songs, frequencies, tones and notes are attractive and others we do not like to listen too. cause they make us tired and bored. So it seems. there seems to be no beauty in them. or they feel more heavy than those other notes.

I guess we all know people we love to listen deeply too, and others we don’t.  I guess we do not need to blame each other for the tones we like or dislike. I think we just need to follow the notes, tones we do love. And learn from the tones we don’t. to understand what it is.

Is it just that we don’t resonate? Is it our resistance because we think we already know how those would sound? So we are already before listening to it, building a resistance to it? Is it the other or our resistance we do not want to listen too? These are some of the questions now coming to me in this spacious blue ocean of being. This is in this moment my focus point. until I let that be, and I am just that clear blue wonderful ocean of Being.

And I know if there will be an answer it will come. It will bubble up maybe as a tiny little bubble or maybe as a wave, who knows.

For now the focus point is shifting to the blue ocean of Me. And from that to my body sitting here typing this. It needs a shower. so I will take a shower shortly after i am done writing this.

Much LOVE and bubbly blessings,



I am….

I am a Master,

I am a Goddess

I am a lover of Life.


I am an inventor,

of so many worlds not alike


I can create any scenario.

And any color between dark and light.


I am the day

and the night.


I am Compassionate

I am brave

I am vulnerable

And also save.


I am wise

I am foolish

I am a dance to be danced.


I am sensual

I am playful

I am the Beloveds lover

and friend


I am that, I am.


And in your eyes I see

you are just like me.


Written by me Mirjam Heetveld  ❤